Well, it’s 2013 now, and pretty much 18 months have passed without me lifting a blogging finger in anger. In the meantime, all of the world’s problems have been completely sorted out - thanks largely to the irresistible intellectual force of bloggers everywhere, who have ensured EVERYONE online makes a REAL effort to think about issues, and works in harmony to SOLVE problems rather than just hurling insults at each other constantly. (Oh - no, hang on; in fact, the planet’s mired nipple-deep in stinky crapola, blogging is now utterly irrelevant thanks to Twatter and Faecebook, and people hate each other more than ever.)
In this strange modern world, I, like so many other rapidly-ageing ultra-conservatives, long for a return to simpler times, when the environment didn’t exist, when all Muslims were loveable bit-part movie sidekicks played by Art Malik or the fat one in “Raiders of the Lost Ark”, and when the liberal media’s agenda wasn’t being run by shape-shifting illuminati space-lizards from the planet Xooberon. But, unlike most rapidly-ageing ultra-conservatives, I’m in a position to do something about it (well, something other than crapping on endlessly about immigrants, the BBC, marxists and “greenies” on the Telegraph’s comment pages, that is.)
We live in the worst recession for a century; the poor are going to shit, so I thought I’d join them… and so with very little fanfare and no further ado, I would like to announce the imminent relaunch of Shit Sandwich. Please make your way over there - you’ll not find loads of new features, plenty of intellectually and sexually-stimulating content, as well as all the old favourite contributors. Hurrah!!!