A tribute lookey-likey to our glorious departed leader, and a clarion call to his probable replacement. Poor old Gordo - like an obsessive oral foot fetishist, all he ever seemed to do was taste defeat. Still, at least when Peter Mandelson pushed his secret “smile” button, he could manage a passable impersonation of Phil Daniels (you’ll have to Phil in the missing person in the lookey-likey, as I can’t find a photo of him, erm, looking like Gordon Brown - but trust me, when El Gordo pretends to be vaguely contented, there’s a striking similarity. No, honestly. Damon Allbran knows what I’m talking about.)

As for the next Labour leader - I’m sure he’s hoping that he can make it beyond the politico-metaphorical semi-finals…

(If only Ed Milliband looked like Pete Sampras, he’d be a shoo-in to kick David’s arse.)

Isn’t it remarkable how unlike themselves some people have looked recently? Firstly E-toe(nian)rag David Cameron…

… and then this shiny spherical orange blob, whoever / whatever he / she / it is…

(This advert has been mercilessly, endlessly, and very amusingly ripped to shreds here…)

Secondly, our glorious no-hair-apparent to the throne as he used to look:

… compared to whatever the hell this Berlusconi-esque-but-without-needing-to-wear-a-bandana-for-weeks madman’s folly-cular re-creation reckons itself to be -

Poor Billy-boy; up to the age of 18, he was the spit of his (undeniably beautiful) mother and pretty much the best-looking young man in the entire world. Then the recessive inbred Saxe-Coburg-und-Gotha, sorry, Windsor gene kicked in, and now he looks like his idiot uncle Edward, and ever more like his gurning donkey of a father.

Funny thing is, the slap-headed Windsor male gene seems mysteriously to have passed Prince Harry by* somehow… hmmm…. (author scratches head in faux curiosity - or rather makes to do so and then stops himself for fear that more of his own rapidly-thinning hair should fall out.)

(* - I guess there’s no way to predict who it will affect and Hewitt won’t.)

The “No! For God’s sake! Too soon! Oh, the humanity!” deeply inappropriate lookey-likey of the week:

Jigsaw Killer Stephen Marshall:

… and wooden actor Neil Morrissey:

Gnarled Welsh radio attack-dog who’s started so he’ll finish:

… and incident-oblivious gnarled French tactical doge who usually starts well, but will never finish above fourth:

Incidentally, I’ve always raised a dry smile at the synergy between the names “Arsenal” and “Arsene”; it’s as if Darlington were managed by Alastair Darling, or Scunthorpe were managed by Richard Littlejohn…

To be fair to myself, the fact that the lookey-likey happens to include a mixed-race man alongside a white man doesn’t make it borderline racist; it does, however, contribute significantly to the lookey-likey’s palpable crapness. Just imagine them side by side on piano keyboards, or something.

Red, dwarfish robot warrior Craig Charles…

…. and thunder-thighed track-taming titan Chris Hoy….

An extremely harsh lookie-likey requiring a Beamon-esque leap-of-imagination which, to be honest, I’m only posting in the hopes of shifting a bad case of writer’s block.

Formerly-underachieving-now-deadly Uruguayan hitman Diego Forlan…

… and cockney nutjob The Hitcher (from the Mighty Boosh).

Nice to see that the animators from little-known Beavis and Butthead spin-off cartoon “Daria” (which, in all probability, none of you have heard of) are pulling their weight in the ongoing hunt for Madeleine McCann.

Here’s an artist’s impression of a “very ugly” man who was hallegedly seen watching the family’s apartment:

… and here’s Charles “Upchuck” Ruttheimer III,  a minor character from little-known Beavis and Butthead spin-off cartoon “Daria” (which, in all probability, none of you have heard of)…

Doing a lookey-likey based on hair alone is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. In your best Shteve McLaren voices -

Dutsch Racisht Shympathisher Geert Wilders (h)….

… and shecond-hand car shaleshman Shwissh Toni.

An unlikely but topical lookey-likey: weight considerations notwithstanding, libidnous back-combed Michael Crawford impersonator Russell Brand…

… and tent-wearing Alexandrian love-god crooner Demis Roussos.

Not often you see Gianfranco Zola and Rob Brydon at the same charity football match, is it…?