Surprisingly, most of you didn’t give a shit about Madonna’s child-robbing antics, despite a strong late showing for the idea that she kill herself. Even more surprisingly, nobody wanted her to kill Guy “I say, old chap, I’m a cockney, diven’t ya knaaa” Ritchie.
But enough of that - it’s Hallowe’en! Wooo! Spooky! Hallowe’en has recently shot up the retail league and is now second only to Christmas in the all-important “stupid people being tricked into buying things” stakes. What’s more, I’m (reluctantly) taking the advice of my girlfriend and NOT putting a “Trick or Treaters Please Piss Off” sign outside my house tonight - I’m waiting instead for a tidal wave of young thugs who will disturb my enjoyment of Barcelona / Chelsea, and cover my house in rotten eggs irrespective of whether I give them a Swizzells Double Dip or not.
But what does Hallowe’en MEAN? I mean, like, in a spiritual sense, man? Over to you, boys and ghouls…..