Following on from my frankly brilliant and not-at-all lame idea that Alan Sugar should encounter his demise by being dissolved in a cup of tea, I’ve decided (perhaps unwisely) to try your patience with a few more name-based celebrity fates, and invite your contributions. Eg -
Sheryl Crow - murdered*.
Tom Cruise - hit by a missile, or alternatively mobbed to death by gay people looking for casual meaningless sex.
Jimmy Page - died from a particularly nasty paper cut.
Tiger Woods - Went down on (to) himself today, evidently not sure of the big surprise which followed.
Kate Moss - forced to become an inanimate object living on a log until picked up by a starling and used as bedding for its prodigiously defecating chicks. (I’m “lichen” that idea…)
Very poor, I’m sure you’ll agree, and am likewise confident that you can do better.
* - an easy 5 Shit Sandwich points for anyone who explains the reference here.