Seasoned bloggers (and, at a whopping, erm, two years, I count myself one) know that “blog fatigue” is an increasing problem. More and more bloggers are competing for decreasing audiences - people who, by and large, barely have the wherewithal to drop-kick an imaginary zombie on Facebook, let alone actually read something. Factor in the credit crunch, oil, gas, house and food prices, global warming Gordon Brown blah blah blah - why should anyone care in the slightest what that Taffy Sandwich bloke (or whatever) is blethering on about this week?
One solution might be to “go theme”; good “theme blogs” attract loyal audiences; e.g. the likes of unnecessary-quotation-mark-person and right-wing-website-commentator-baiting-person. (Honourable mention also to the brutal, stark Kraftwerkian minimalism and Ronseal-like efficiency of Ms B. Dreams.)
What theme to choose, though? News? There are already 100 quintillion (at a conservative estimate) news blogs, each one a bazillion times more boring than the last; not to mention the fact that journalists from major newspapers have recently started to get in on the act by publishing their random tube-train scribblings on their papers’ websites, cleverly saving themselves the trouble of doing any proper research or editing - or writing - by simply prefacing the piece with “I reckon that…” and calling it a “blog”.
How about sport? Ooh, yeah! I like Ipswich Town! I… erm… think we might do quite well this year!! We’re playing Preston a week on Saturday!!! Can’t wait!!!! An absolute non-starter. Sport is about as funny as Ebola, and anyone attempting any type of humour in a sporting context should be shot on sight (Phil Tufnell).
Music? Diminished minor seventh transpositions in Marillion songs? Hmmm - perhaps not. Folkestone? Fuck-stone. Unpleasant characters I meet at car boot sales or on eBay (of whom there have been quite a few recently)? I daresay there’s already enough unremitting bleakness to be found in your own encounters with the rest of humanity without the need to burden you with mine.
So I won’t be “going theme” - I span the genres, I’m a polymath, I run a broad church. More importantly, there’s the possibility that it’d involve slightly more work, and I’m at risk of losing the battle against my own indolence as it is. However, as Vlad the Impaler was often heard to remark, I will stick a poll up…