As part of our public service remit, I thought we could collect unnecesary euphemisms used commonly in various walks of life and expose them for the charlatans they are, starting with cinema-review-speak-type-stuff.
“Lavish” - only ever found before the words “adaptation” or “production”, and invariably applied to a costume drama. If you’re after a bunch of posh-talking women wearing those dresses which push their cleavage right up, and possibly a white wig, watch on.
“Epic” - fucking interminable. You’ll never get these four hours of your life back.
“Sexy” - very hard to define, this one, as critics appear to use it to describe at least 95% of all films released.
“Thoughtful” - a navel-gazing bore-fest, probably in a foreign language. You’ll get more enjoyment out of taking apart and reassembling a heavily-used chemical toilet. Also - “Thought-provoking”. As previous, but likely to include an element of sexual deviancy.
“Action-packed” - Steven Seagal alert.
“High-Octane” - as above, but starring Vin Diesel (guffaw…)
“Zany” - a shit American spoof. Statistically likely to be one of the 139 films in the Police Academy series.
There are many more of these cliches waiting to be named and shamed; feel free to chip in…
This entry was posted on Sunday, February 3rd, 2008 at 4:38 pm and is filed under Film / Telly / Books, Irritating Things. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.